Thursday, April 1, 2010

Dihydrogen Monoxide De-contamination to be Costly for Municipalities

The fact that our atmosphere contains the chemical dihydrogen monoxide is of little concern to people most of the time. However, there is a good chance that it will become an expensive problem for many municipalities sometime in the next month.

Under the right conditions, atmospheric dihydrogen monoxide solidifies slightly causing it to descend. Scientists believe that the conditions will be right sometime in the next month over much of Canada.

Although this phenomenon has only minimal effect on people’s breathing, it can affect the proper operation of motor vehicles. Municipalities are likely to be forced to spend considerable amounts of money trying to deal with this contamination.

Fortunately, it isn’t necessary to eliminate all traces of the chemical entirely. The cost of a complete clean-up would be prohibitive. Nevertheless, costs are expected to be high.

See this update.

10 comments:

  1. I agree that this issue is one all of us will need to deal with. I, for one, do not look forward to the future my children will inherit: a world where everything we eat and drink will be tainted with dihydrogen monoxide and heaven knows what else.

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  2. > Although this phenomenon has only minimal effect on people’s breathing,

    That's not right. There are several thousand death in US only, due to the inhalation of this chemical. It is also known to cause many accidents, some of them fatal, when found in its solid state. And what about the corrosion it causes in metalic materials?

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  3. Tucho: Very true. While the atmospheric fallout of dihydrogen monoxide rarely affects people's breathing, this chemical is known to kill many people and damage property in other contexts.

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  4. My daughter's cat, just as an example of the impacted fauna, is extremely allergic and hypersensitized to this chemical. Something must be done. Soon.

    Save the cats!

    P.S. Please e-mail your donations to the above address.

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  5. In some jurisdictions, the problem is particularly bad. I know a guy who just had a complete physical and found that his body was almost 80% contaminated.

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  6. I blame this all on global warming, if the world wasn't so warm this horrid chemical compound would remain solid!

    Think of the children!

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  7. I read somewhere that wrapping your car in bubble wrap and parking it safely in a closed garage and not operating it during the dihydrogen monoxide attack would help. I hope buses keep running in Ottawa during that time.

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  8. I find this substance most noxious when the temperature is below 273 degrees Kelvin. It falls like ash and covers my home and driveway. When windy, it blows into my eyes and stings them.

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  9. I was not even aware of this issue, so I'm glad you brought it up. We have a number of asthmatics in my household, so I'm wondering if this will cause some problems for us.

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  10. I few years ago I found out that tons of this stuff was in our reservoirs when the levees broke causing great devastation. That stuff is going to contaminate our property for years.

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